By Charlotte Kemp

More than anything else, I believe it’s our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny.

Anthony Robbins.

I couldn’t decide if I was going to include this lesson or not.

After an exhaustive study of a few people I know and some books I have read, and applying what I learned from Psych 101 many years ago, I think I have determined that there are broadly two types of people. One type makes decisions and the second type asks permission.

Decision makers often get into trouble, after things have been done. Permission seekers don’t always get into trouble, but they also don’t make progress happen.

If we raise our children ‘good’, then they will be trained to ask permission from people in authority – parents, school teachers, bosses, in years past – higher ranks in the military during conscription. If we raise our children well on the other hand, they will learn to make decisions based on considering the consequences, and being willing to take responsibility for their actions and consequences.

But we are not talking about raising children. We are talking about adults who even in their own careers and businesses are reluctant to be decision makers. It may not be apparent because failure to make decisions can always be obscured behind corporate rules, mall regulations, franchise prescriptions and financial constraints.

Perhaps this issue needs to be a deeply introspective exploration for you. It’s not so much about the quality of the decisions you make – which is of course very important – but firstly I really want you to know whether or not you are a decision maker or a permission seeker.

It is so comfortable being the latter. But when I decided there were things in my life that I wanted to explore I found that there was no one, no authority, no ‘board’ to go to, to get permission. Now I know when I say it like this it sounds silly, but think about things in your life that you are so desperate to do and you just can’t get your mind around them. You may have a list of excuses but your real procrastination may be that you don’t know if you can, if you are allowed to.

And what things in your business, what audacious ideas that will turn business around in a struggling economy are you not willing to try because, well, “We don’t do things like that around here.”

So explore in yourself if you are willing to make those decisions or if you are still looking to someone to give you the go ahead. If you are on your own and you need someone else to bounce ideas off, then start a group of like minded people as a support or Master Mind group. Share ideas there and let them let you know how your idea sounds.

But ultimately your business or your career, in fact your family and your life – whether they succeed or potter along, comes down to whether you are willing to make decisions for them and the boldness of those decisions.

This blog is an exploration of the lessons I learned when my business failed. Please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas, as well as your own experiences. It will eventually be published as a book – hopefully as a warning to new entrepreneurs to avoid some of these mistakes. Please see the first few posts as an introduction.